Just Breathe

This semester I'm taking Intro to Complementary and Alternative Medicine through the Center for Spirituality and Healing.  I went into it knowing little to nothing about alternative healing traditions.  Surprising to say, my interest has been significantly sparked.  Granted I'm not planning on abandoning my nurse practitioner studies to pursue a degree in traditional Chinese or Ayurvedic medicine, but I've become increasingly excited about the idea of incorporating some of the ideas and therapeutic modalities I've learned about.  Before this course I honestly thought these CAM approaches were basically bunk--touchy-feely, way out-there theories.  I have a new-found respect for these traditions and their potential to powerfully change patients lives in profound ways.

One of the most basic, overlying principles found in all these traditions is the idea of treating the whole person.  The mind, body, emotions, diet, relationships, and environment must all be considered.  Given that nursing has a more holistic approach, the idea is not new to me.  However, in Tibetan, Chines, and Ayurvedic medicine there is an emphasis on having a quiet mind.  Such a simple concept that is often overlooked in the busyness of life.  Taking time to breathe can truly be a powerful way to heal, center, and focus one's energies on a given task.  Sometimes I wonder if medicine makes things unnecessarily complicated.  Of course there are many times when patients do need intense medical therapies, but it seems that something as simple as deep breathing and meditation is worth trying with difficult, chronic problems.  

We had a guest speaker in class yesterday afternoon who tells all his patients,

You are enough

So simple yet so difficult to live by.  As I've alluded to in other posts, sometimes I wonder why I run around unbelievably busy.  Is it to prove something?  To let others know how smart I am, how interesting I am?  Maybe it's to show I really am superwoman and can do it all without collapsing from exhaustion.  Or perhaps I keep busy so I don't have to think too much about the very challenging situation my life has become.  I'm always preaching about slowing down, taking more time to just be.  For some reason I still haven't learned to practice what I preach.  

One thing I have committed myself to breathing.  I figure I need to take small steps :)  

May you remember that no matter what happens,  You are enough.  For those of us who identify with the Christian persuasion, I add that You are unconditionally loved.  And even those who may not identify with God, consider the idea that there is a God who loves you unconditionally. 

Grace, Peace, and Love,  Caro

My encouragement corner that reminds me I'm loved.  

For those that are interested, check out the Center for Spirituality and Healing

Count Your Many Blessings

After my pity-party-posting a few weeks ago, I decided to write about the recent small joys in my life.  As I've alluded to before, these last few months of waiting to hear news about Jimi have moved like molasses—way too slow. However, in the last week I've been reminded just how many loving and supportive people are in my life.  Below is a brief list.

♥ My dear friend Sue Peterson who so graciously rescued me on Monday evening after locking my keys in the car.  I called her up and without hesitating she brought me a spare key and I was able to make it to my exam on time. Now that's a true friend.  
♥ Card from my Aunt Kaethe with a generous gift and encouraging words.
♥ Email from Pastor Rachel who knows both me and Jimi very well as she did our pre-marital counseling.  She is the warmest, kindest, most honest and down to earth minister I've met.  Love her.  
♥ Time with family over the weekend, listening to Nathaniel's choir concert and watching my mom bid at a live auction.  Topped off with an amazing home cooked meal of chicken, cheese potatoes, broccoli, and red velvet cupcakes.  Oh yeah, then Five Guys before I left.  I even ran into my friend and fellow DNP student Amber, and got to meet her adorable daughter in person. 

♥ My awesome new roommates, Karla, Christie, Wilger, and Zoyla.  I am so lucky to live in a beautiful house with great people. 

♥ Email from my 77 year-old grandma, filled with words of love, support, encouragement, and prayers
♥ Coming home to flowers from Jimi on Valentine's day.  He's so tricky ☺
♥ Hanging artwork in my new room with Andrea
♥ My countless other friends and family members who have sustained me this year.  

Do any of you remember singing the song Count Your Many Blessings in church?  I sure do.  Honestly, it usually annoys me to no end but when I went back and looked at the words, I couldn't help but realize their truthfulness.  The lyrics were written in 1897, but are still quite poignant.  Please accept my continued gratitude for all your love and support.  Carolyn

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Johnson Oatman Jr., 1897

A not so happy anniversary

It's a bitterly cold February night and I can't help but think about what I was doing exactly one year ago today. As many of you know, my husband Jimmy has been in Ecuador since last January.  We are filing his immigration papers, a process that has been both long and challenging.  Though lucky to escape the cold, it was a bittersweet trip for us, knowing that I would be returning home only to leave Jimmy behind.  That day at the US embassy was one of the longest of my life, certainly one I will not soon forget.  We were made to wait nearly the entire day, only to be questioned to no avail by US immigration officials.  Many a tear was shed.  

I've been pondering the idea of patience these last few weeks.  Is it possible to learn patience?  Is it something one can practice, a skill one can develop?  Reality demonstrates an opposite phenomenon--patience only becomes more difficult with waiting.  The more I wait, the less patient I become.  I've been living without my husband for an entire year, one that we will never get back.  We're ready to be together again.  But for the first time in my entire life I literally cannot do anything to change the situation.  There's nothing I can do to make the process go any faster, or even to guarantee a favorable outcome.  Until now I've basically been able to control everything in my life:  my grades, my job, how I spend my time and money.  Yet never having had a say in this immigration process has been strangely liberating.  For once I'm forced to trust things will work out, be okay, press onward. My 'control' in life has only ever been an illusion, a fallacy kept alive by my selfish desires.  


I can't really control my life.  Not really.  

'Hasta Luego' Party

January, 2010

  

Thanks to all our friends and family for all your love, support, encouragement, and prayers.  We couldn't go through this without you.  Much love,  Caro

Stateside

As predicted, my blogging has slowed to a pitiful rate upon my return to the States.  I've had a very busy week⎯Monday met my new OB preceptor; Wednesday had class, met urgent care preceptor, then back to campus for class; Thursday worked 8-6pm followed by French class.  Today I got stuck on 94 and arrived nearly half an hour late to my primary care class.  I hate walking into the room late. Still, I'm glad I didn't miss class completely because we had an awesome lecture on PVD.  The speaker was a cardiologist (with a sub-specialty in vascular medicine) whose presentation was sprinkled with very liberal leaning comments about the disastrous state of our health care system. Very refreshing, absolutely made my day.  

After lunch with Syndal, I headed home and started packing.  Tomorrow I'm moving in with one of my friends who owns a house in South Minneapolis.  I'm very excited to get back to the city and relinquish my 45-minute commute.  Unfortunately, I have an uncanny ability to pick the worst days of the year to subject myself and my loved ones to the stresses of moving.  High tomorrow: 4℉.  At least I'm not moving that much stuff.  Fortunately, I have wonderful friends who have volunteered to help.  Thank you.  

Well, I know this post isn't as interesting as my French adventures.  I will try to find something insightful to share next week.  Hope everyone has a great weekend. Stay warm!  Caro

Operation Basic French: Success!!

Well friends, this is the last blog I will write from France :(  Hard to believe that my two week adventure has come to an end.  Sorry I've been absent the past few days, I've been busy trying to squeeze everything in!  Brief summary: Wednesday after class I went to a cool Jean-Paul Bouche indoor market with countless tempting goodies, Thursday I visited the fine arts museum, and then Friday I went to the main park/lake in Lyon.  

Today I didn't do much, just walked around a bit and finished packing.  My train trip back to Paris was interesting.  The train slowed and came to a stop in the middle of the countryside.  The conductor made an announcement both in French and incomprehensible English, but I still didn't understand what was going on.  What happened next is truly exciting.  I asked the woman sitting next to me what was happening, and I actually understood!  The train had broken down and we had to wait.  I had to laugh to myself--isn't this supposed to happen in Ecuador, not France?  A short 20 minutes passed and we were on our way again. 


At the hotel, I was able to check in and pay completely in French!  Hooray!  It was at this very hotel that I first arrived and had to speak English.  Now remember, I'm taking basic, survival French skills.  But still, I can't help but be pleased with the progress I've made in the short time I've been here.  I'd really like to come back, hopefully next time with Jimmy :)


I'm not looking forward to my flight tomorrow, or returning to the ho-hum routine that has become my life.  I'll soon be busy with two clinical days, a primary care course, a complimentary healing course, finishing my incomplete from last semester, and to top it off (just because I'm cheap and want to take advantage of the U as much as I can), third semester French and a fabulous public health course entitled, Global Health Relief, Development, and Religious and Non-Religious NGOs.  I'm particularly excited for the last class, as I continue to have a strong interest in international public health.  We'll see how it goes...


Thanks for all of your encouraging words of your support these last few weeks.  I've had many ups and downs, but I must say I'm really proud of myself.  Hope you all have a great weekend!  Love,  Caro

 Park.  Although I must say, Minnesota does lakes much better :)

 Watched the sun set as we waited for the train to be fixed

 It would have been better without the power lines.  Oh well. 

French Fashion

It's almost 7pm on Wednesday night. As usual I'm exhausted and would love to start winding down for bed.  However, I must find the willpower to stay awake for 8pm dinner.  It just kills me!  Those of you who know me well are aware that I love to sleep.  But learning a foreign language is very draining!  By the end of class my mind is mush.  

Anyways...

I've been wanting to write about French fashion since I arrived.  Today being the first day of sales (on a national level), I thought it was only appropriate to take up the subject.  Simply put:  the French are fashionable.  Most of the time I feel extremely under-dressed in my jeans, Danskos, and rain jacket.  The majority of women wear some type of boot or high heel, even the older women!  Men dressed for work typically sport slick pants, cool leather shoes, and a sleek pea coat. Don't get me started on the youth...let's just say they are way better dressers than I ever was, or ever will be for that matter.

I live in a very affluent area of Lyon, filled with expensive clothing shops and boutiques.  I can't help but laugh to myself as I pass by the windows, gawking at prices.  500€ for a pair of heels, 200€ for leather boots, 50€ for a shirt, 300€ for a purse.  Granted this is an expensive area of town, I'm still amazed at the number of people who can afford these prices (or choose to spend their money on designer clothes).   

The most important part of the outfit (apart from the shoes) is the scarf.  Do not leave home without one.  Fortunately I brought three with me, one plain cream and two handmade Ecuadorian ones.  If it weren't for my scarves, I'd probably be taken into the alley and taught a lesson from the fashion police!  Hope you all have a great day!!  Love,  Carolyn

High-fashion store right by my flat

 These will only cost you 500€ to 600€

Leather only!

 

Beautiful Morning

Hello everyone!  Hope this finds you well.  This morning I saw the sunrise for the first time in Lyon.  I guess the other mornings were cloudy and rainy, but today was just gorgeous.  I wish I knew how to use my camera better because I think this could have been a post card shot!

Although my amateur skills aren't too bad...

It was a great way to start the day.  Every time I see a rainbow I feel like God is smiling down on us.  Cheesy, I know, but comforting in a strange way.  Class was good, and later I hope to make it to another market.  PS: my hostess was not happy when she saw I had bought the cheese.  She made me wrap it up and put it in a plastic container.  Still can't get over the fact that she's French and doesn't like cheese!  But I sure enjoyed it for lunch today.  Love,  Caro