Count Your Many Blessings

After my pity-party-posting a few weeks ago, I decided to write about the recent small joys in my life.  As I've alluded to before, these last few months of waiting to hear news about Jimi have moved like molasses—way too slow. However, in the last week I've been reminded just how many loving and supportive people are in my life.  Below is a brief list.

♥ My dear friend Sue Peterson who so graciously rescued me on Monday evening after locking my keys in the car.  I called her up and without hesitating she brought me a spare key and I was able to make it to my exam on time. Now that's a true friend.  
♥ Card from my Aunt Kaethe with a generous gift and encouraging words.
♥ Email from Pastor Rachel who knows both me and Jimi very well as she did our pre-marital counseling.  She is the warmest, kindest, most honest and down to earth minister I've met.  Love her.  
♥ Time with family over the weekend, listening to Nathaniel's choir concert and watching my mom bid at a live auction.  Topped off with an amazing home cooked meal of chicken, cheese potatoes, broccoli, and red velvet cupcakes.  Oh yeah, then Five Guys before I left.  I even ran into my friend and fellow DNP student Amber, and got to meet her adorable daughter in person. 

♥ My awesome new roommates, Karla, Christie, Wilger, and Zoyla.  I am so lucky to live in a beautiful house with great people. 

♥ Email from my 77 year-old grandma, filled with words of love, support, encouragement, and prayers
♥ Coming home to flowers from Jimi on Valentine's day.  He's so tricky ☺
♥ Hanging artwork in my new room with Andrea
♥ My countless other friends and family members who have sustained me this year.  

Do any of you remember singing the song Count Your Many Blessings in church?  I sure do.  Honestly, it usually annoys me to no end but when I went back and looked at the words, I couldn't help but realize their truthfulness.  The lyrics were written in 1897, but are still quite poignant.  Please accept my continued gratitude for all your love and support.  Carolyn

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Johnson Oatman Jr., 1897

A not so happy anniversary

It's a bitterly cold February night and I can't help but think about what I was doing exactly one year ago today. As many of you know, my husband Jimmy has been in Ecuador since last January.  We are filing his immigration papers, a process that has been both long and challenging.  Though lucky to escape the cold, it was a bittersweet trip for us, knowing that I would be returning home only to leave Jimmy behind.  That day at the US embassy was one of the longest of my life, certainly one I will not soon forget.  We were made to wait nearly the entire day, only to be questioned to no avail by US immigration officials.  Many a tear was shed.  

I've been pondering the idea of patience these last few weeks.  Is it possible to learn patience?  Is it something one can practice, a skill one can develop?  Reality demonstrates an opposite phenomenon--patience only becomes more difficult with waiting.  The more I wait, the less patient I become.  I've been living without my husband for an entire year, one that we will never get back.  We're ready to be together again.  But for the first time in my entire life I literally cannot do anything to change the situation.  There's nothing I can do to make the process go any faster, or even to guarantee a favorable outcome.  Until now I've basically been able to control everything in my life:  my grades, my job, how I spend my time and money.  Yet never having had a say in this immigration process has been strangely liberating.  For once I'm forced to trust things will work out, be okay, press onward. My 'control' in life has only ever been an illusion, a fallacy kept alive by my selfish desires.  


I can't really control my life.  Not really.  

'Hasta Luego' Party

January, 2010

  

Thanks to all our friends and family for all your love, support, encouragement, and prayers.  We couldn't go through this without you.  Much love,  Caro