A not so happy anniversary

It's a bitterly cold February night and I can't help but think about what I was doing exactly one year ago today. As many of you know, my husband Jimmy has been in Ecuador since last January.  We are filing his immigration papers, a process that has been both long and challenging.  Though lucky to escape the cold, it was a bittersweet trip for us, knowing that I would be returning home only to leave Jimmy behind.  That day at the US embassy was one of the longest of my life, certainly one I will not soon forget.  We were made to wait nearly the entire day, only to be questioned to no avail by US immigration officials.  Many a tear was shed.  

I've been pondering the idea of patience these last few weeks.  Is it possible to learn patience?  Is it something one can practice, a skill one can develop?  Reality demonstrates an opposite phenomenon--patience only becomes more difficult with waiting.  The more I wait, the less patient I become.  I've been living without my husband for an entire year, one that we will never get back.  We're ready to be together again.  But for the first time in my entire life I literally cannot do anything to change the situation.  There's nothing I can do to make the process go any faster, or even to guarantee a favorable outcome.  Until now I've basically been able to control everything in my life:  my grades, my job, how I spend my time and money.  Yet never having had a say in this immigration process has been strangely liberating.  For once I'm forced to trust things will work out, be okay, press onward. My 'control' in life has only ever been an illusion, a fallacy kept alive by my selfish desires.  


I can't really control my life.  Not really.  

'Hasta Luego' Party

January, 2010

  

Thanks to all our friends and family for all your love, support, encouragement, and prayers.  We couldn't go through this without you.  Much love,  Caro